Video game thread

They’re rebooting Halo.
 
They.
 
Are.
 
Making.
 
A.
 
Modern.
 
Reboot.
 
Of Halo.
 
 
Already the shill articles are out saying ‘This is good actually!’, fuck them and fuck Microsoft. Why do you continue to puppet this rotting fucking corpse around and try to excite everyone with nostalgic key-jangling. We live in a post-DIDNEY WAR world, everyone’s onto that shit by now.
 
Why can’t my childhood just be left peacefully as happy memories of a beloved franchise that was laid to rest?  
oh god they’re making a Spyro 4 as well, please god no 3X

 
You can smell the desperation that they desperately want to play.
 
@Anonymous #F9D1  

 
No, as in they have the half and half person sigh and said “GENDER NUTRAL RESTROOM”

@Cyborg_pony  
Half and half is how most unisex signs look around here, but if it blatantly says “gender neutral bathroom” then fuck that shit.

It took a while, but game journos are finally starting to review bomb Hogwarts Legacy. Wired gave it a 1/10.

@ANoobis  
I guess it’s OK for multi-million dollar media companies to review bomb, just not us plebs.

 
I made a black female student who will wear all white and always wear a white mask to show homage to her European superiors. She’s most greatful to be saved from her life of savagery in Africa and brought to a civilized society full of handsome, racist white men.

@Humble Oriathan  
She better be Slytherin because we wuz dank lards n sheet.

ABRACADABRA!

@ponypony221  
No no, she belongs in Gryffindor. Slytherin is for the clever and pureblooded nobles. Ravenclaw is for the intellectually gifted. Hufflepuff is for driven hard workers. Gryphandor is just a repository for all the retarded racemixers and diversity hires who think they’re part of some kind of “resistence” against “evil”.

Based on the most recommended “Which House are you in” tests and the Pottermore version, here’s what I’ve deduced:
 
Ravenclaw is for people with basic common sense, because apparently the wizarding world is so fucking backwards and retarded that basic thoughts like “Communication would be much easier if we just used wi-fi with a magically protected VPN” or “Apparate, Floo Powder and Portkeys should be the universal standard for all witches and wizards to use for travel instead of risking exposure flying magical carriages or gryphons around in open airspace” put you in the top 1% Intelligence Quotient.
 
Slytherin is for tryhard edgelord soyjacks who like to represent themselves with Gigachad online as cope and think that their ancestry.com results qualify them for leadership. The only thing that qualifies them for politics is that like politicians, they are subhuman.
 
Gryffindor is for gymbro sigma males and single mother tomboys who think being an abrasive asshole is a desirable personality trait. They are wrong, but they’re also certain that they’re the player character in the life simulation so good luck convincing them otherwise.
 
Hufflepuffs are NPCs, everything that is wrong with the wizarding world and holding it back from it’s true greatness can be traced back to a Hufflepuff. We are still devising a Final Solution to the Hufflepuff question, let me get back to you on it when we’ve figured out the most efficient method.
 
 
But no, being serious: Ravenclaw for life.

@FeatherTrap  
le eaglefoot cope
 
Why Slytherin is Master Race  

@ponypony221  
Translated from Soy-therin cope into Tru Fax:  

@FeatherTrap  
Wait until my father hears about this!

@ponypony221  
I guess I shouldn’t be too mad that you belly-bottom bitches can’t comprehend your level of inadequacy, after all You have to have a very high IQ to understand Ravenclaw. The enlightenment is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of astrology most of the lessons will go over a typical wizard’s head…

@FeatherTrap  
Need a meme of galaxybrain getting sorted into Ravenclaw.

@ponypony221  
Galaxybrain into Ravenclaw, NPC into Hufflepuff, soyjack into Slytherin and Norf F.C. into Gryffindor.

To quote myself from last week:  

@Officer Hotpants  
Femboys4lyfe.

You’re all WRONG.  
My House — Based  
Not my House — Cringe

I hope FF16 has a card game. I don’t think they’ve done a new card game since Tetra Master in FF9, and Tetra Master sucked. It doesn’t have to be Triple Triad again, but a new card game that’s simple and fun is an addition that’s been missing from the series for a long time now.

@ANoobis
I’d just be satisfied with the fact that they stopped trying to force blitzball to be a thing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkvECUsPkXA
Genociding the Batarians is the most ethical choice you are not allowed to make.

@Anonymous #F9D1
Is there a Batarian genocide mod?

@ponypony221
God I wish. The best you can do is go for the control ending and headcanon Commander “I’m going to make Torfan look like a fucking joke” Shepard immediately using the Reapers to wipe out the Batarians.