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@πʊßƛįϰ
How old fashioned are we talking? Are we talking screwdriver, ice pick, or a steel bar flying at explosive velocities?

Or an old-fashioned lobotomy will turn him normal.

@ponypony221
Zap to the Extreme is plan B.

@Color Anon
What I’m hearing is that we should try the “low” setting on the electric chair.

@ponypony221
Personally, I am convinced that a few well delivered beatings could get him to behave tolerably well, since Chris has never been hit on his life and that was a big reason why he grew up convinced he always could do whatever he wanted without facing big consequences.

@Color Anon
Electric chair?

Part of the reasons why Chris’ case has been so long is because Virginia’s legal system literally has no idea about what to do with him. Chris has proved over and over again that he can’t live on his own (he is too stupid and doesn’t even have a place to return anymore) and cannot be sent to a group home without forcing the staff to constantly supervise him, of he will cause new problems like abusing and stealing from vulnerable people (because he doesn’t give a crap about what he does to others as long he could get what he wants) so he cannot be released OR sent to a tard home without causing new problems, and until Virginia’s legal system could find a way to keep this moron from causing more problems, the state is stuck with him.

@Color Anon
He was only up for ten years, wasn’t he? And he’s already stalled out 1/5 of that in time served credit.

Edit Virginia has a 15% credit on felony sentences. It sounds like Chris has been behaving decently, lately, so he’s only up for 8.5 years. With the two he’s already served, that should be 6.5 years left, barring incidents.

@ANoobis
According to Kiwifarms, looks like Chris will spend the rest of his life behind bars or locked doors.

@ANoobis
I wonder if he’s still a boyfriend free girl.

@Color Anon
This is his second birthday behind bars, isn’t it?

Chris is 41 years old now.

Chris’ case got yet another continuance, this time for March 7. According to Kiwifarms, the most likely case is because Chris is decided to keep playing contrarian until the end and never accept any plea that involves him accepting he did something bad.

Gotta love censored public records.

Chris’s review has been rescheduled to 13 February 2023. In addition, court staff have again censored the Pleadings/Orders detail page of online court records.

Before anyone falls for it: NO, Chris has not been released. It’s yet another lie made and spammed around by some bored Twitter guys.

@Color Anon  
God: I love all my children.  
*Humanity presents Chris Chan*  
God: I… I thought I destroyed that thing with the flood a while back.  
Devil: You know what. I don’t think I want to associate with humanity any longer.  
Jesus: Aw, see! Now, even Luzbel is freaking out!  
Elon: I’m leaving this planet.  
Mark: I’m leaving this reality. FOR THE METAVER-  
Elon: Oh, shut up.  
Jeff: Even The Rings of Power wasn’t as atrocious as that… THING!  
Mindy: Velma’s looking like gold next to that creature.
 
God: …and on the EIGHT day, He decided to just wipe the slate completely clean.
 
Humanity: FINE! We’ll put it away, alright.
 
,,,because.

@Color Anon  
I doubt that we’ll get anything but a delay from that hearing.

Well, today Chris went for another hearing about his case and yep, it got nothing but another continuance scheduled for Valentine’s Day, because apparently even God wants to troll Chris now.

A guy recently uploaded some pics of Chris’ house, revealing that Chris’ Legos were tossed into a trash container.
 
(Edit) Some more pics revealed that Chris’ house is being cleaned and spruced up (the old junk and dead plants that surrounded the house were removed) and there are boxes of toys and clothes being thrown into the trash bin outside of the house.

@Dex Stewart  
Jail, at least. Prison would probably fuck him up irrecoverably. It does seem that the structure an institution provides is what he needs to thrive. Maybe a psychiatric facility is where he should be.

The medication and punishments/corrective discipline seem to have worked a bit, since Chris’ case was scheduled for a review hearing on January 27.

@Color Anon  
Wow. Didn’t think he had it in him. Then again, I would have said the same of his mother two years ago.

@Color Anon  
It sounds like he’s actually improving.  
Prison was the best thing that’s ever happened for him.

Chris has recently allowed a ween to visit him at jail.
 
Highlights from the account of the visit, copied from the CWCki:
 
Chris is allowed visitors a couple times per week, but only if he’s personally approved of them.
 
Chris is reportedly the thinnest he has been since high school.
 
Chris is reportedly showing signs of his age, with his hair graying.
 
Chris appears to be medicated to the point where it is slowing his speech.
 
Heilberg seems to have finally convinced Chris to keep his mouth shut.
 
Chris has been playing basketball in jail, and was unbanned from the rec room.
 
When asked about when he will be released from jail, Chris responded “The truth will be revealed in months”.
 
Most notably, Chris appears to have accepted that he may never return to 14 Branchland Court.