Random Nonsense Thread

Not since Shakespeare declared that something was rotten in the state of Denmark have the inhabitants of that fair country been so disgruntled. A Copenhagen University academic has just produced some research that has shaken every Dane to his irreducible Viking core. He analysed all the products in an Ikea catalogue according to name. What he found was startling. It seems that Sweden’s all-conquering furniture firm quite shamelessly names its fanciest futons, tables and chairs after Swedish, Finnish or Norwegian places, while reserving Danish place names for doormats, draught-excluders and cheap carpets.

Min gud, as they say in Danish. That has set the kat among the pigeons. The Danish press has accused Ikea of “symbolically portraying Denmark as the doormat of Sweden”. Ikea’s response is that the Danes “appear to underestimate the importance of floor-coverings”. I can’t work out whether that retort is a genuine attempt to smoothe ruffled feathers, or yet another sly Swedish dig at their neighbours. Either way, it hasn’t helped to mollify the seething Danes.

@Fleur de Lis
Yo, f’real, that Ophelia was hot. If I was Hamlet I’d be like, “Sorry, Ghost Dad, I feel bad for you and shit, but hoes before bros. Imma bounce with my best girl and let Claudius rule the kingdom. Sorry, not sorry. Peace.”

Twilight Sparkle: Friends, we may have solved our recent problems, but now we face a new challenge. Our water supply has run dry due to a severe drought. We need help!

Applejack: (worriedly) Oh no, how are we going to survive without any water? The crops won’t grow and we might run out of supplies soon!

Jesus Christ: Greetings, my children. Fear not, for I am here to help you.”

Spike: (whispering) Is that Jesus?!

Rarity: (whispers back) Oh my, he looks so real!”

Twilight Sparkle: (approaches Jesus) Who are you, sir? How can you help us?

Jesus: (smiling kindly) I come bearing gifts. Allow me to show you the true power of faith and miracles.”

Fluttershy: (surprised) Where did all this wine come from?”

Jesus: (explains) My child, this wine was created through my divine intervention. I turned your humble water supply into rich, delicious wine.”

Oh. I thought you were going to ask me to go on an epic quest to find a circuitboard. I’m disappointed now.

@Twiface
Did you hear about Littlepip’s latest invention? It’s called the Pony Rehydrator 3000, and it allows users to turn a single dehydrated pony into enough fresh water to fill a small swimming pool. Talk about making a splash!

@Fleur de Lis
I was making a reference to this

What you just described sounds more like a Project Horizons sideplot.

@Fleur de Lis
He got what he deserved

@Fleur de Lis

No more no more stop oh god

When y’all wash your face do you throw water in the general direction of your face like they do in the commercials or do you do something else?

@Fleur de Lis
@Fleur de Lis
@Fleur de Lis

What happened, Fleur? Did UrbanMysticDee hack your account or something?

@Twiface
I can’t be the only communist.

From Karl Marx to Mao Zedong and beyond, all communists have been discovered to be just one person - UrbanMysticDee, a mysterious figure whose true identity remains shrouded in mystery. The evidence points to him being present at every major moment in the development of communism, from the Paris Commune to the Russian Revolution. Some believe he’s a time traveler, while others speculate that his existence defies the laws of physics.

UrbanMysticDee had been born into poverty in Germany in the mid-1800s. As a child, he saw firsthand the harsh realities of capitalistic society and vowed to change it. Determined to spread Communism’s message far and wide, UrbanMysticDee embarked on a mission that would span centuries. Using various identities and disguises, he traveled from country to country, spreading the word of Communism and fomenting revolutions wherever he went.

In the depths of the Soviet Union, during the height of Stalin’s regime, there existed a man unlike any other. He went by many names: Karl Marx, Vladimir Lenin, Joseph Stalin… But in reality, they were all just aliases for one person - UrbanMysticDee. At times, UrbanMysticDee was revered as a hero; at others, he was feared as a terrorist.

But through it all, he remained steadfastly committed to his cause. And over time, people began to realize that this enigmatic figure seemed almost too perfect to be human. Rumors swirled that UrbanMysticDee possessed supernatural powers, or perhaps even immortality. Some whispered that he was part of some grand cosmic scheme to usher in a new age of Communism. Whatever the truth may be, it is certain that UrbanMysticDee has left an indelible mark on history.

As the years passed and Communism fell out of favor in many parts of the world, UrbanMysticDee continued to work tirelessly behind the scenes, shaping events from the shadows. And though his identity remains a mystery, those who believe in his vision continue to look up to him as a symbol of hope and justice for all. Long live UrbanMysticDee! May his legacy inspire generations to come.

@Fleur de Lis

dmRano snnNeoes

@Fleur de Lis
Stop posting your lurid cock-worship fanfiction all over the forums.