I had no sleep at all last night, I wish it was for a dumb reason like I was really having a great Halo jam or some idiot posted an unhinged rant in these forums that was living rent free in my head…but no, it was something infinitely worse.
I might never see one of my dearest friends ever again. Just out of the blue, he came and said “I’ve been harming myself a a while and in seeking help about it I’m going to get committed for it.”
I pray to God that he’s wrong, that he’s exaggerating the extent of the problem or that whoever is tasked to help him realises that cutting him off from his only source of support will be too damaging to him. But I’m not holding my breath, not in an industry that cares more about convincing five year olds to have their gentials mutilated so they can spend the rest of their lives being chemically dependent and thus, securing a customer for life (yes that’s the actual reason the medical industry pushes the transgender kids shit so hard, ‘Zionist plots’ need not apply).
What’s an adult on anti-depressants compared to that? Worst case scenario he just goes nuts and lashes out violently, then he gets shot by the police and becomes another useful “White male-schnaazi turruist!!” story and the world carries on.
except for those who actually cared for him. To whom he was more then a serial number or a statistic for morons on the internet to argue over for political brownie points.
What shocks me most of all was just how sudden this all was. Just the other day he was GMing our Tales of Equestria game and he seemed for all the world to be enjoying himself immensely. It’s always like that isn’t it? They seem to be in really good spirits right before they pull your entire world out from under you… v.v
To be fair, we all knew his life was crap for a long time. But we’ve also offered to help him, time and time again. By offering him a place to live and spend time away from his crappy life circumstances, maybe even a cushioned starting point for a new life if he wants it. If nothing else, we offered to send him money to help him, but every time he refused us.
It was sheer pride, really. he didn’t want to be “just another bum”, he wanted to be “useful”. Well, look at where that’s gotten him now, and now I’m afraid I’ll never see him again…or if I do he’ll be unrecognizable from all the chemicals he’s been pumped full of because our society has decided that being shoved full of every emotionally-altering drug is a more scientific and acceptable alternative then actually filling the void of meaning and purpose in your life that’s causing your slide into self-destructive behavior in the first place.
So do me a favour everyone. If you have someone you care for and love dearly, don’t let any petty, stupid bullshit get in the way of that. Don’t let personal pride or your emotional insecurities or your politics get in the way, because if you do then one day you’re going to find out that you’re going to die alone in some medical ward run by people who don’t care about you as anything other then a source of revenue and you’re going to regret all the people you pushed away and all the hours you could have had with them, gone forever over this pointless bullshit that in the grand scheme of things doesn’t fucking matter.
Don’t turn their help away when you need them. Be ready to offer it when they do. Cherish every day, every game, every shitpost, every laugh, every breath that remains. Because it can all vanish just like that.