Random fact about yourself

2011-2013 I used to sing “The Sound of Winter” by Bush and “Winter Wrap Up” almost every day.

I shave my toilet.

@𝕭𝖆𝖉𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙
The fuck does that mean?

@UrbanMysticDee
Usually with paper towels and Lysol, scrubbing the bowl with body wash seems to add some good velocity.

@𝕭𝖆𝖉𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙
I still don’t know what it means to shave a toilet.

I’m an alcoholic

@UrbanMysticDee
You’re better off not knowing.

I say “motherfucker” a lot.

@UrbanMysticDee
I say “discreditation” a lot.

I say “What the dick?” alot.

I just say “fuck” a lot.

About half my fantasies involve beating the shit out of random douchebags like Jack Reacher.

Another 10% involve being a famous douchebag like Rick James.

Those two probably wouldn’t get along very well.

I like big butts, I cannot lie.

I block people who are against drinking milk and eating eggs and it feels good to block them and my only regret is that I can only block someone one time because it feels so good I want to do it again.

@UrbanMysticDee
I ate eggs for breakfast this morning and I too enjoy blocking people for similar seemingly frivolous reasons.
In fact, my Discord block list is ten times the size of my Discord friends list.

Also, couldn’t you just make alternate accounts to block them again?

@Twiface
Making alternate accounts sounds like work.

@UrbanMysticDee
It probably is, but some people do it.

Despite what many people have believed, I am not, nor have I ever been a vampire.

I procrastinated on my taxes until this morning.

If you still haven’t done yours, it might be a good idea to do them soon.

Whenever I block a shitton of people on twitter all at once I check to see how many were my followers. So far I’ve never blocked one of them.

This was the 9th grade. We were playing volleyball which is the shittest game ever. I really hate volleyball. So, this was 9th grade so we were all like 13-ish. There was this black kid. He must have been held back 27 times. He was a full-ass adult with sideburns. He was like 7 feet tall, 240 pounds. He was stronger than any 4 kids combined. When he was on my team that was the best. We had him serve. His arm is like a rocket. He would shout “Koo-koo!” spin his arm around like the road runner and then launch the ball with enough force to break someone’s face. He was a scoring machine. Several times he hit the ball so hard it got permanently stuck in the ceiling, which is about 50 feet above the ground. We lost so many fucking balls because he hit them into the ceiling.

@UrbanMysticDee
Cornpop was a bad dude

This happened to me at my old job. My boss (who talked like Yoda and needed an interpreter) told me than I smelled. Meanwhile there were 10 other people in the office who stank of BO and ethnic food. The boss cooked her ethnic food in the microwave in her office and stank up the whole building. I bathed and didn’t stink of BO so she claimed that I was the one who stank.

I’ve worked with hundreds of people. I’ve worked in warehouses sweating up a storm. I’ve worked in a shared cubicle with other people sitting 2 feet away from each other, 9 hours a day for 2 years, no one has ever told me I stink except that one boss in that office full of people who stank of Indian spices and BO. Not white people, not hispanic people, not black people, it was just the one boss who got off the boat and didn’t know what soap was who thought I stank.

@UrbanMysticDee
Some soap does in fact smell

@Twiface
Do they have BO and chicory flavor soap? If not I think those people just didn’t bathe.

@UrbanMysticDee
I just looked up ‘soap’ on Ponybooru and chose this because they didn’t have any closeups of any of the soap at Mare Fair.

As far as I know, nobody is going around selling soaps with those scents. Soaps only have nice smells, like ‘Snowpity’ flavor (unless you’re using Boraxo, which probably still smells better than your coworkers did).