I fucking hate grass, and all the people who devote their lives to it as central dogma of the Boomer religion. When you stop believing in God you’ll believe in anything, because it is an intrinsic need, so Boomers turned to believing in grass. They worship it. All the neighbors around here (except the literal crack shack that has 15 people in it) mow their lawns all the time, and whenever they see someone else mow they have to go out and mow even if they had just done it yesterday. The one guy has no job and spends 100 hours a week worshiping his lawn, spending tens of thousands of dollars every year doing all sorts of voodoo to it and never spends any time with the kids he had so he can collect welfare checks (and they’re not allowed outside because his lawn is a mausoleum). Another neighbor cut his lawn into pieces and baked each piece in his oven before replanting it for whatever retarded reason he could think of.
Of course the level of noise pollution is atrocious. Every piece of equipment is gas powered and has the most basic of hundred year old gas engine on it that produces as much noise as possible. These people have to be deaf by now. It’s impossible to do anything when the neighbors are out because of the noise. They can make them quieter, but they don’t, because people are retarded and think a quiet device isn’t working as hard as a loud one (vacuum cleaners too are designed to be as loud as possible otherwise people don’t think they’re working).
Grass is the most useless invention of all time. It does nothing. It cannot even survive in North America without constant intervention. The only function grass serves is to showcase how much of an asshole you by displaying how much time and money and effort you have to absolutely waste on something totally worthless. The entire purpose of grass is to give your neighbors the finger and thumb your nose at them because your grass is better than theirs, and by extension you have more value as a human being than they do.
Humans have devolved into shit-throwing monkeys who have to be assholes all the time and show off how much better they are than everyone else. Gone are the days of victory gardens, self-sacrifice, and great public works that you know you’ll never get to see all for the benefit of future generations, because that’s what decent people do. That’s the very foundation of civilization.
If half the effort people put into maintaining lawns was put into actually advancing civilization we’d be living on Mars and have cured aging and be able to provide people with actually decent fair-priced Internet service by now.
