I think I got a hernia last night. I’ve lost a lot of weight since November because of probable ulcers (they’ve healed) from almost a decade of NSAID use due to back pain, and from the flu or the coof or whatever serious illness I had in January (that’s mostly cured too) that made it difficult to eat for 3 months. That must have seriously weakened the abdominal muscles because I got a somewhat painful bulge after what I thought was a normal bowel movement. It took a few hours for everything to return to normal so I didn’t get to sleep until 6 AM. The area is no longer swollen and it is soft to the touch again but it still hurts a little. I also had to sleep on my back, which I haven’t done since 2012, and now my back is killing me all day.
Injuries just compound on one another until the body falls apart completely. I still think the so called “problem of evil” or the “problem of pain”, which is held as the gold standard atheist argument, is totally shit that’s a strawman based on nothing found in any religion. I’ve studied the world’s religions extensively for 16 years now and none of them believe in an all good God. All religions that have a creator god believe in a god who created both evil and good (Zoroastrianism has both a god of good and a god of evil, which is pretty unique). Certainly the God of the Bible admits to having created both evil and good, and Jesus himself says he’s come to sew division among families, commands us to arm ourselves, and will one-shot the armies of the world at the end of time.
It’s also based on a contradiction. If the world is half as bad as the problem of evil suggests then the idea of a good god would have never been conceived. It seems to be a zeroth world problem. It’s not even a first world problem. It’s a problem only the most affluent members of the first world have even the time to contemplate; people who make working and middle class first worlders look like third worlders.
It’s also based on a very egocentric view of morality. People project their own values onto reality, assuming their extremely limited, mortal minds are anywhere near equivalent to an immortal, eternal, indestructible, omnipotent, omniscient mind. Humans contemplating suffering is like a dog contemplating why humans are apparently hurting it during life-saving surgery. They create a view of God as Superman who must either instantly solve every problem in the world or else doesn’t exist. It’s by far the most childish perspective I can think of.
Suffering has increased my faith in God. God doesn’t show up until you’ve been beaten down and humble yourself. I didn’t understand that when I was an atheist edgelord.