Spitfire: So, Soarin, I think I came up with a brilliant idea of how we can make Rainbow Dash draw attention to you.
Soarin: Oh, really?
Spitfire: Yes. That light bulb over there is burned out. What we’ll need to do is to make her come up and change it during the dinner. Then when I’ll finish saying the following phrase: ‘Hm-m, Soarin, would you kindly keep a shaky ladder for our Rainbow?’ I’ll unnoticeably knock out a ladder from her with my tail so that she would sertainly fall down. Then, right after I’ll say it you will jump out of the table and will rush forwards her and will catch Dash. Easy as pie!
Soarin: Wait. Can’t she just fly up and change it?
Spitfire: She could if she hadn’t sprained her wing ligaments today while flying. So she will certainly use a ladder.
Soarin: Are you sure that nopony else will volunteer to do it?
Spitfire: Perhaps they will. But I’m certain Rainbow Dash will get ahead of him or her.
Soarin: Well… seems like a good plan to me.
Spitfire: Just make sure to jump out of the table only after I’ll have said this phrase. Or else you’ll just look stupid and our scam will be revealed.
Soarin: I got it, ma’am!
In a cafe, 5:35 PM.
Rainbow: So, wait a second. Let’s make it again crystal clean. You want me to climb up the ladder to change a broken light bulb then to say you ‘secret’ phrase to Soarin then on the first word to knock down the ladder so that I’ll fall on my ass from up the ceiling then me to start rubbing my poor posterior until shocked Soarin offers to help?
Spitfire: Exactly.
Rainbow: Well, I dunno… Like, this is my butt afterall. Will it hurt?
Spitfire: Yep, it curtainly will.
Rainbow: Oh oh… Like, I’m really not sure. Isn’t it dangerous?
Spitfire: If landing will be straight on your plot then no. You don’t have vital organs there and you rarely use these muscles.
Rainbow: But, but… is there any other way I could draw Soarin’s attention with?
Spitfire: Trust me, this method is the only one that really always works. With any stallion!
Rainbow: I’m… I’m still not sure! You know, you suggest me beating off my butt… kinda extreme…
Spitfire: And you like doing extreme things, am I right?
Rainbow: Kinda… Oh, Celestia, that’s gonna be painful.
Spitfire: This is why we’re doing it. One week of Soarin’s care of your sore butt will be garanteed! And then everything else is after you! Just make sure you strain your butt muscles right before landing. Just in case.
Rainbow: Yep, I certainly will.
In a cafe, 7:14 PM.
Spitfire: Hm-m, Soarin, would you kindly keep… (knocks out a ladder under Dash that starts wobbling)
Rainbow: Oh boy! Here we go! (thinks Dash, while holding to the chandelier. She releases it and feels how the floor smacks her butt) OUCH! My BUTT! (Dash starts rubbing her posterior with gritted teeth) IT HURTS! It reaaally hurts! Ouch!
Applejack: He-he! You don’t say, Rainbow.
Fluttershy: Oh… my…
Twilight: Poor Rainbow! There were a few times I landed on my ass in the library and it DID hurt! Her poor plot must be all bruised…
Soarin: Dash, are you alright?!
Rainbow: I just beat off my entire ass! Is that a good answer to you, Smarty? Oh oh, my butt… I… I think I won’t be able to sit for a week!
Soarin: Here, (helps Dash to get up) I’ll help you, Rainbow. You need to attach ice to a bruised place. There’s lots of it in the fridge.
Rainbow: Thank you, Soarin! Ouch! (starts walking with him, limping. In her mind) Actually it wasn’t that bad after all. I think I can beat out my bum again. I think I even like this kind of pain!
Spitfire: (in her mind, grinning) As I said, it always works with ALL the stallions and mares. He-he..!