Page 820 - Unsolicited Criticism

In this wonderful show-age of epic villains and reformed villains and whatnot, it’s kind of crazy to remember that Gilda was essentially the second “villain” of the show. Immediately followed and overshadowed by The Great and Powerful Trixie (and then a freaking dragon after that), but still. Of the starting lineup, Gilda used to be the biggest punching-bag character because of a scene like this.

Gilda: “Soooo… what do you do in combat, Pinko?” Is this your old character sheet?
Pinkie Pie: “What’s a character sheet?”
Gilda: No, that wasn’t in-… Rrrrgh. Let’s see here… Fast Friends? Inspire Competence? Vigorous Cadence?! How on God’s green Earth are you not taking, at the very least, Staggering Note, Revitalizing Incantation, and Prescient Warning??
Pinkie Pie: I dunno, they’re not my flavor?
Gilda: Gaaah. Look, Bards have three jobs: Buffing, debuffing, and positioning. So why aren’t you built for one of those?
Pinkie Pie: Because I’m Pinkie Pie! And if I was Bard-Bot Type G, I wouldn’t be Pinkie Pie, would I?
Gilda: That doesn’t mat–!
Fluttershy: I’m done! Can I have some cake?
DM: No one was stopping you…
Pinkie Pie: Go for it!
Gilda: Hey. Whatcha got there?
Fluttershy: Um, it’s fine, I don’t really want, um–
Gilda: A Sentinel, huh? …Really. Hmph. Ooookay, if you’re sure.
(beat)
(beat)
(beat)
Gilda: What? I didn’t even say anything.