A greentext provided by a generous anonymous writefag
 
>You stare down from the paper in your hand, shifting your attention from the warning to Rainbow Dash.  
>Having not seen the contents of the paper, she peers back up at you quizzically.  
>Innocently.  
>…there’s no way that this is true.  
>You aren’t molesting your friend whenever you give her cuddles, right?  
>Sure, she can be a bit more cuddle-hungry than Twilight Sparkle or maybe even Pinkie Pie, but for god’s sake, it should be blatantly obvious if you were “sexually can sexually” stimulating your best friend.  
>Meanwhile, Rainbow finds her voice and clears her throat.  
>”Anon? What’s up, champ?”  
>She tilts her head.  
>”Did that paper say something to make you upset?” she asks, sounding vaguely worried, “Is it one of those dumb ‘how will you lose your winter weight in time for beach weather’ things that Caramel keeps throwing around to drum up business for his dumb yoga thing? ‘Cuz I think you like fine the way you~~”  
>You have to test this, if only for your own peace of mind  
>You speak up, interrupting Rainbow Dash and her encouraging speech  
“You wanna go back to my place and cuddle, Rainbow Dash? I can rub your belly for a while, and maybe even give your wings a massage.”  
>Rainbow just stares at you, slack-jawed.  
>See?  
>This ‘Sex and the Pegasus’ thing is bullshit  
>Rainbow’s just weirded out that you wanna touch her all over  
>That blush exploding on her cheeks is just her being irritated.  
>The way her wings twitch and almost pulse in time with her heartbeat ~~ quickening with every second - is just her body’s way of saying “no way, fag”.  
>Seeing Rainbow Dash peer around nervously to make sure nopony is watching is just…  
>Is…. is just…  
>”Y-You mean it, Anon?”  
>She swallows thickly.  
>”You w-wanna do all that with m-me?”  
“Yeah, of course.”  
>Rainbow shudders and lets out a shaky breath.  
>When she looks back up at you, she has a predatory smirk on her face, and she licks her lips.  
>”Dear Penthorse: I never thought it would happen to me…”  
>MOTHERFUCKER.