The Boot Song

https://u.smutty.horse/mczzynzmxzo.mp3

Well I went up to the northern climes.
To the land of snow and the northern lights,
A searching for a legend that I heard so long ago.
Well two months in my food ran dry,
And I thought for sure that I would die,
So I said my prayers and passed out in the snow.
And when I woke up
I was cuddling in a pile
Of the softest fluffiest mares I ever met.
And they said to me,
“Mister, why not stay a while
If you’d like to join our herd for a little bit?”
Now I was minded to agree,
And eventually I wriggled free,
And while pulling on my parka and my trous.
I went to search for my footwear,
But then I saw to my despair,
A filly biting holes into my shoes.

Now why ya hate me boots girl?
And what’d they do to you?
My toes is cold and frozen now,
Cause I don’t have me shoes.
You might not fear the blizzard chill,
Because you have fetlocks.
But I’m stuck here forever,
Cause I can’t hike out on socks.

This might’ve broke a weaker man,
But I shook it off and I formed a plan.
And meanwhile I stayed cozy in the igloo where I lay.
Well they fed me fish, and I brushed their hair,
And I made a friend with a snowmare.
Her name was comfy cozy and I said to her one day,
“Comfy coze, can you help me with a favor?”
She said, “Whatcha need now neighbor, and I’ll help you if I could.”
“Pretty mare, well I know it’s hard to come by,
But if you find it sometime,
Could you rustle up some wood?”
Well I got some pine and my penknife,
And I whittled away for my dear life.
The end result was primitive but hey they did the job.
Well I sanded them smooth and I hit the sack,
With my brand new shoes by my haversack,
But when I woke next morning she was eating up me clogs!

Now why ya hate me boots girl?
And what’d they do to you?
My toes is cold and frozen now,
Cause I don’t have me shoes.
You might not fear the blizzard chill,
Because you have fetlocks.
But I’m stuck here forever,
Cause I can’t hike out on socks.

Well I tried again with a beaver skin,
But a filly ate my moccasins.
And when I tried a second time, she stole them in the night.
So I gave on up, and I gave on in;
Now I live in the north with my brand new friends,
And if I need to travel I just grab a horse and ride.

Now why ya hate me boots girl?
And what’d they do to you?
My toes is cold and frozen now,
Cause I don’t have me shoes.
You might not fear the blizzard chill,
Because you have fetlocks.
But I’m stuck here forever,
Cause I can’t hike out on socks.
Yes I’m stuck here forever,
Cause I can’t hike out on socks.

Don’t laugh at me, I only had time for like two takes, I know the singing is rough. If anyone want to re-record have at it.