Warning for venting on the description.
 
Yesterday was supposed to be a good day
 
I woke up fine, I was gonna catch up with classes (the ones I’ve been delaying for over a week because of anxiety)
 
I was gonna exercise
 
I was gonna draw, be productive
 
I was gonna eat well.
 
Then I started feeling a little unwell. So I thought I could draw something, something for someone else, someone who also hasn’t been ok lately, so it would perhaps also make me feel better. Cheer up. Get it out of my mind.
 
Turns out halfway through this drawing I was already forcing myself to finish it, because I was already in the brief of tears.
 
I finished the day having one of the worse crisis and panic attacks I’ve ever experienced. If not the worst.
 
At this point you probably already know I definetely didn’t catch up with classes, nor exercised. I don’t even recall if I even remembered to eat. I ended up crying myself ‘till absolutely exhaustion and getting stuck in bed, paralyzed, afraid of doing something… worse. Something I couldn’t go back with.
 
Truth is I haven’t been feeling ok lately. Not at all. Everytime I seem happy it’s either pretend or it just lasts for a really short time. And that it’s really taking a toll on me, like It has never been. It feels like I’m actually going crazy. To the point I really can’t just shrug it off and go on with my days like everything is ok. Everything seems… just terrible.
 
I felt myself really related to those situations where a person was like totally ok and the other day they were just gone.
 
Well anyway, I guess I was at least able to finish this.