“Can you pull the blanket up my back a bit? My wings are tugging it down.”
“I got it.”
“Thanks.”
“You’ve stopped shaking.”
“Is that good?”
“I mean, I think it is.”
“I-I-I’m sorry I ruined your fun.”
“Shhhh. It’s okay. Your safety is more important. I’m so, so grateful you pulled the plug when you did. I can’t imagine what it’d be like if I’d… well…”
“Heheh. I’m fine, I think. This is nice.”
“Take as long as you need.”
“I could really go for some hot cocoa or something.”
“I’m gonna need my hand back for that.”
“Nyu. I’m not done with it.”
“It’s the hand or the cocoa. I’m not a wizard.”
“I’ll take the hand.”
This is something of a therapeutic piece for myself. Yesterday I posted art of Tempest Shadow with a brief story about some pretty extreme BDSM play, and I have to admit that I did something that I didn’t think was possible. I scared myself.
In the heat of the moment I got carried away with writing a scene that on the reflection of a second reading, left me deeply troubled in a way that I had a real hard time articulating. I deleted it and replaced it with the abridged version that’s currently on it. I’m still not sure I understand why I was so upset by my own creation, but I don’t want it to sour my experience of any of its component parts (particularly the character, I would like to draw her again) so I drew this aftercare piece for myself. In particular, this takes place after safewording to end the scene, which is what I feel like I had to do to be okay with what I experienced. I don’t have a satisfying conclusion for this, I just wanted to be open about how I made myself feel, how I possibly made some other people feel, and hopefully how I can learn from it to avoid hurting myself and others again.