Special greetings to you Anon, but we must make it clear
Eating turkey is cultural theft from the Indians, you hear?
And Santa Claus is Turkish, and Jesus was a Jew
So none of those things are allowed for the likes of you!
Besides, there is no God up there, such notions you must mock
And giving gifts is frowned upon, so you take down your sock
Were not sure about the nuts, its best you just steer clear
Enjoy your foodless, giftless, barren chilly brand new year!