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Description

You have reached the mental health hotline.  
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.  
If you have co-dependency issues, get someone to press 2 for you.  
If you have multiple personality disorder, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.  
If you are paranoid delusional, press 7 to inform the lizard aliens of your hiding place.  
If you are schizophrenic, ask the voices in your head which number to press.  
If you suffer from depression, no one is going to help you no matter what number you press.

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