Make Me Suffer (NSFW)

 
People who speak like this all the time, and are convinced that it’s not stupid when they do it.

@acres  
That’s just funny.

@Officer Hotpants  
So funny you’re suffering?

@acres  
Nah. Though I may be a bit distracted from the suffering point.

@acres  
The real horror is the amount of thought that went into this.

>Be me  
>try to find a nice pic of food  
>type food porn in the search bar  
>go to images  
>doesn’t know that safe image search turned off  
>see dude fucking a pumpkin  
>close browser

@acres  
There’s a Punisher story where a mob guy is hit in the brain with a drugged dart that was meant for the Punisher. It gives him permanent brain damage and among other things, it makes the poor guy to fall in love with a pumpkin and have sex with it.  
As usual for a Punsher story, everyone dies but the pumpkin guy actually survives and decides to live as a wandering cowboy, with the pumpkin as his faithful companion.  
As unusual for a Punisher comic, the ending strongly implies that Pumpkin guy got to live a happy life after finding true love with his pumpkin.
 

The ultimate no homo.  

@acres  
That doesn’t sound very comfortable for the other guy’s butt.

@Color Anon  
Aw I love that one.

@Color Anon  
It’s necessary though. Without it, it’d be gay.

 

@Color Anon  
I’m honestly surprised that they haven’t devised an insert for that yet, as often as I hear about it.

@Officer Hotpants  
That device already exists. It’s basically a plastic penis that must be inserted and kept inside of the “vagina” to force the body to create scar tissue around it and keep the hole open for good.  
The patient needs to lay in bed while that thing is inside of them.

 
I’d still eat’em.