Dex Stewart 
Ecto-Phase,Activate!
I just finished watching the remake of Pete's Dragon.
Pete is learning to read in his parents' car. Suddenly,a CGI deer jumps in the road, causing them to swerve and flip over. The parents are now dead, presumably,but Pete is alive.
Don't get too comfortable,Pete,CGI wolves are closing in! Just as they're about to do whatever it is CGI wolves do,in comes CGI Elliot the Dragon! Who is the only good CGI thing in the movie. Years pass and Pete is harassing a bear trying to catch a rabbit. His vocabulary has expanded somehow.
Anyway,Robert Redford is telling some overacting kids about a dragon he saw once. Oh,and a logging plant. Because when I think of Disney,I think blue collar logging plant.
Pete is watching the loggers,and a girl sees him,and follows him into the woods. The girl's mother sees Pete and takes him into town,he escapes while a bunch of people with nothing better to do act like they've never seen a child before. Pete is caught again. Meanwhile,loggers saw a tree tip over,and they're gonna go shoot the hell out of whatever it was,even if they have to wander around the Woods all night. They don't know it was Elliot,why are they do intent on finding what tipped the tree over? The movie already established bears are in the woods. Elliot sneezesion a dude,and they run away.
Pete and the girl from earlier are fiddling with a record player,and I'm starting to wonder,when is this supposed to be set? Elliot flies over some CGI cows to check on Pete.
The next day,Pete takes the girls family to meet Elliot. Immediately,some rednecks show up to tranquilize Elliot. Then they take him to the logging plant.
Robert Redford breaks Elliot out and attempts to free him in the forest. Redneck dumbasses chase after and Elliot burns a bridge down with fakey looking CGI fire.
Elliot accidentally almost kills the good guys,and saves them. Pete stays with the family,and Elliot goes to find other dragons. They reunite a couple years later,the end.
Now imagine all that with an obnoxious score that only goes quiet when there's a bland folk pop song playing.
Pete is learning to read in his parents' car. Suddenly,a CGI deer jumps in the road, causing them to swerve and flip over. The parents are now dead, presumably,but Pete is alive.
Don't get too comfortable,Pete,CGI wolves are closing in! Just as they're about to do whatever it is CGI wolves do,in comes CGI Elliot the Dragon! Who is the only good CGI thing in the movie. Years pass and Pete is harassing a bear trying to catch a rabbit. His vocabulary has expanded somehow.
Anyway,Robert Redford is telling some overacting kids about a dragon he saw once. Oh,and a logging plant. Because when I think of Disney,I think blue collar logging plant.
Pete is watching the loggers,and a girl sees him,and follows him into the woods. The girl's mother sees Pete and takes him into town,he escapes while a bunch of people with nothing better to do act like they've never seen a child before. Pete is caught again. Meanwhile,loggers saw a tree tip over,and they're gonna go shoot the hell out of whatever it was,even if they have to wander around the Woods all night. They don't know it was Elliot,why are they do intent on finding what tipped the tree over? The movie already established bears are in the woods. Elliot sneezes
Pete and the girl from earlier are fiddling with a record player,and I'm starting to wonder,when is this supposed to be set? Elliot flies over some CGI cows to check on Pete.
The next day,Pete takes the girls family to meet Elliot. Immediately,some rednecks show up to tranquilize Elliot. Then they take him to the logging plant.
Robert Redford breaks Elliot out and attempts to free him in the forest. Redneck dumbasses chase after and Elliot burns a bridge down with fakey looking CGI fire.
Elliot accidentally almost kills the good guys,and saves them. Pete stays with the family,and Elliot goes to find other dragons. They reunite a couple years later,the end.
Now imagine all that with an obnoxious score that only goes quiet when there's a bland folk pop song playing.