Page 340 - Smarmony Returns, Part 5

Author: Digo

Guest Author’s Note: “My players once attacked each other because they couldn’t decide which guard to murder first at the entrance to a dungeon. My dungeon took the rest of the evening off.”

Derpy Hooves: Rolling the ivories! <rolls>
Cheerilee: Wow, that’s a lot of freakin’ boxcars.
SFX: (KA-POW!!)
Derpy Hooves: 138 damage! I believe the colonial term is- ‘Boo-yah.’
GM: That… That killed my dragon. You actually blocked a TPK.
Daring Do: Alright Trixie!
Trixie: Friendship truly is magic.
Cheerilee: So is rule abuse!
Zecora: Aside from the mad props, tell us GM, what are the loot drops?
GM: Well, in addition to this list of gems and magical items, you find Cadenza’s phylactery.
Daring Do: Sweet babies!
GM: Ah, but there is a catch! This small child is wearing it. The phylactery is feeding on her unicorn magic. If you destroy it, then the child dies!
Nurse Redheart: What’s the downside?
Cheerilee: Not cool, Red! The DM is trying to screw us over with yet another alignment hit!
Trixie: Yeah, I already got the word ‘geas’ tattooed on my butt.