Page 416 - Active Aggressive

Coming up with absurd D&D archetype jokes is difficult, especially when you’ve read enough stories to realize that someone has already topped you in the absurdity category across every archetype.

Unlike many things, the reality of tabletop absurdity is far more impressive than the imagination.

Pinkie Pie: The King wants you to root out the source of the undead scourge. For this, he will reward you handsomely.
Madame le Flour: I wish to receive a royal title, thus bringing moi one step closer to reclaiming the lost Hollysword barony!
Pinkie Pie: Uh… The King says he’ll see what he can do.
Sir Lintsalot: We’ll get some high-level gear as a reward, right? Actually, scratch that, give us the high-level gear right now so we have a higher chance of success.
Pinkie Pie: Er… Well, no, but… Maybe?
Rocky: Will there be big monsters?
Pinkie Pie: Um… The King says there have been rumors of a dracolich…
Rocky: Say no more. I’m in.
Pinkie Pie: Phew!
Mister Turnip: My dog-shaped robot buddy chases the vizier around the castle.
Pinkie Pie: What? Why??
Mister Turnip: Because robot dogs hate viziers!
Pinkie Pie: WHY?!?