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It’s that time of year again…
 
Wow, just wow. Like, there is soooo much to unpack here that I can’t even. First of all, you can’t just use unicorns to market products like that. We have a rich, vibrant culture and a long history of oppression. We aren’t here for your enjoyment. Y’all should educate yourselves about REAL unicorn culture and aesthetics instead of just regurgitating tired tropes and stereotypes that fetishize us. Secondly, TATTOOS? Seriously? It’s not a tattoo! It’s called a ‘cutie mark,’ and they aren’t even remotely similar! I didn’t choose it and it can’t be removed without EXTREMELY powerful dark magic. Then there’s the ingredients. I highly doubt it’s actually made of fairy dust, which is EXTREMELY hard to find and virtually impossible to procure in large amounts. Rainbows are also VERY labor-intensive to manufacture and cost 10,000 bits per square meter, in addition to being completely unfit for consumption as a foodstuff due to their high ammonia content. Also, Princesses don’t just randomly give out kisses to anyone who asks. There’s no amount of money you could bribe me with to kiss every pudding cup on that shelf. I don’t even give out that many kisses in a year! Like I said, we unicorns, princesses, and unicorn princesses aren’t here to be your little playthings. This is cultural appropriation, hooves-down, and I’m not having any of it. A little reference here and there is fine, but you just HAD to go all-out, did’t you? And the “YASSS?” Don’t even get me started on that one.
 
I’m very disappointed in you, Snack Pack. I’ll be writing a long letter to ConAgra’s PR Department about this, and might even organize a boycott if this bullshit continues.

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