Next up on the list is chewing a stick of gum. Seems rather tame, compared to the rest. That is, until Parchment starts swelling into a giant blueberry. He’d spit that gum out, if somepony would just yank that tape off. Oh, well. At least there’s no shortage of ponies on hand to roll him away to be juiced.
 
Listen up, and we will teach  
the sordid tale of Parchment Bleach  
A silly colt who saw some spots  
and started rudely bitching, moaning  
whining, whining about dots
 
Whining, whining about dots  
Whining, whining about dots  
Whining, whining about dots
 
Watch him swell so big and round,  
to match his ego pound-for-pound  
We’ll put this jerk to better use  
making us blueberry juice
 
Whining, whining about dots  
Whining, whining about dots  
Whining, whining about dots
 
We’ll forgive your rude outburst  
but not til you amuse us first  
Don’t blame us, in case you missed:  
YOU’RE the one who asked for this  
We’ll bloat him up and that’ll teach  
a lesson to poor Parchment Bleach
 
Whining, whining about dots  
Whining, whining about dots  
Whining, whining, whining, whining  
whining, whining about dots
 
(Blue hair/eye version, for those who prefer it.)