Okay, I know I might rustle some jimmies with this one, but I was quite impressed to see the amount of people asking Movie Slate to talk about the Oscars. So I took a break from the usual movie reviewing to talk about them. I wanted to give the drawing kind of a glazed in gold feel, and in some occasions the drawing ended up looking like someone smeared a piss filter all over it. Not that it would’ve been a bad thing, after all this is Movie being all pissed off about these awards, why not giving it a pissed on color scheme? But I decided that would’ve been too much, so I toned it down and desaturated it a bit. I think it looks alright now. I kind of like how angry Movie Slate looks in this picture without her being downright furious. She looks more frustrated than she looks mad, kind of like me.

“The Oscars”. Now, you might think I am of the same opinion as Movie Slate, and that I too hate the Oscars. That’s a bit of a harsh word, I do not hate the Oscars, nor do I love them. I do, however, see them as a very useful tool. It’s easier to measure a movie’s worth in the amount of shiny statues it has won. Now, number of awards doesn’t often mean quality, but it’s enough to tickle your curiosity and make you want to check it out. If there is a movie that’s won an Oscar and defeated other big blockbuster movies, there’s a chance you’d give it a watch and find out why, right? I often talk about the movie I’m reviewing in this section but, since I’m throwing in a bunch of movies under the bus with this drawing, I thought it fitting to quickly talk about them one by one. None of these movies are badly done in a technical aspect, nor do I consider them bad movies. They are competently made, and have good production value, but they’ve all been so amazingly overblown by the critics and the awards circuit that I can’t find enjoyment in them anymore.

“James Cameron’s AVATAR - I’m shocked that the highest grossing movie of all time (_without adjusting to inflation) has left next to no impact other than “Hey, do you remember that James Cameron movie that was seven movies at the same time?”. Or as a foot note at the end of movie news articles when Cameron threatens the whole world with four sequels. Still, three Oscars, two Golden Globes, two BAFTAs, a shitload of money in box office, and even though it’s really entertaining I still fail to see what all the fuss was about.

“_District 9 - This is one movie with which I drank the Kool-Aid. I had t-shirts, I watched it almost daily after I got the DVD, and I was outraged when I saw it didn’t win anything big. I watched it recently, only to find out it has aged really poorly, and after Neill Blomkamp kept doing pretentious fest after pretentious fest, looking back to his first movie I suddenly understand why this guy got such a big head about his magnum opus. At least we got Sharlto Copley out of it.

“_The Hurt Locker - Kind of a shame that the one movie Kathryn Bigelow got her Oscar for was the weakest of her career. Not only is this movie completely devoid of tension, but the critics and the awards ruined it for me. They spend the entire movie making it as if Jeremy Renner is going to die, but since they nominated him everywhere for Best Actor in a Leading role, I knew he wasn’t going to! Plus the characters are impossible to relate to, and the stench of pretentiousness turned me off something fierce.

“*Saving Private Ryan - This one’s another case of bad aging turned wine into vinegar. I’m sure back in 1998 nobody had seen war portrayed like this, but after seeing other movies making a better job at it, looking back at this movie feels like it tries to be an anti-war film without actually reaching that goal, since it’s too busy blowing soldiers into pieces and giving cameos to character actors. I also find it hilarious how any time a war movie comes out it always has the *“Best War Movie since Saving Private Ryan”_ blurb written on the poster. “Thin Red Line” did a much better job, but Hollywood doesn’t like subtlety, they like to be bashed on the head with a two-ton sledgehammer.

“_Titanic - Now this one is really sad, but for all the wrong reasons. All that work into portraying the society of the time, the costumes, and even building the goddamn ship from the ground up, all that effort, and for what? So we can follow the story of two self-insert OCs in one of the biggest tragedies in human history. That’s like if a 9/11 movie was about two lovers in different towers of the World Trade Center. And people threw almost two billion dollars, and eleven Oscars to what amounts to a fanfic. Good grief.

But, and as always, this is all my opinion. The concept of an overrated movie is entirely subjective. If you enjoy any of these movies, go for it! Enjoy them! I won’t take that away from you. The same way you can totally despise other movies that I myself would find quite enjoyable. After all, they are all just fucking movies, there’s no point in getting mad at each other over a movie.