Dear Princess Celestia,
As the Flavor-Aid Man, I’m excited to share that our popular drink mix is now available in Equestria. While our formula provides a delightful taste, we also secretly add toxic chemicals like cyanide, arsenic, and mercury to enhance your ponies’ experiences. Rest assured, these substances are entirely safe after rigorous testing by medical professionals. You can expect heightened senses, spiritual fulfillment, and enhanced religious devotion. Join us at Flavor-Aid Inc. to sample these incredible transformations.
Sincerely,
Jim Jones - The Flavor-Aid Man.