Corrupt a wish!

Here, we make a wish, and the replier shall corrupt it!
 
I wish to have more subscribers to my YouTube channel.

Granted. They’re all spambots.
 
I wish for the apocalypse.

@Fleur de Lis  
It’s not gonna destroy the world, just send it back to the stone age.
 
I wish for a sleeping pill.

@Zaknel  
Granted! Enjoy your 8 full hours of sleep paralysis.
 
I wish Trump were president of the US again.

He then becomes the dictator of the United States. Never again would there ever be a change in ruler for that country.  
I wish to lick all the mares in Equestria’s armpits.

They all get tickled by it and punch you.
 
I wish to have a playful but dominant girlfriend.

Her previous boyfriend who was where she got the dom mannerism from, comes over to see how his girlfriend is doing, sees you and makes you his sub sissy.  
I wish every mare in Equestria grows a marecock and I get to suck on all of them.

I wish to be ready for Freddy.

You’re ready to DIE!
 
I wish that Moonatik was on Ponybooru.

@Zaknel  
Granted! But they only upload furry art, which is immediately removed due to the rules and they refuse to upload or allow their pony art to be uploaded.
 
I wish I could pet Izzy… SFW petting, innocently!

@Adan Druego
Granted. You can pet Izzy Stradlin as much as you like.

I wish I was a pegasus pony, living in a cloud house in Equestria.

@Fleur de Lis
All of your stuff that you like keeps falling to the ground through the clouds.

I wish I could get more fun roleplays out of people these days.

@Zaknel
Granted. But only because they use “fun roleplays” as an abbreviation for “roleplays about Zaknel’s funeral”.

I wish to join the Nightmare Moon cult.

@Fleur de Lis
Your trillion year contract has been accepted!
However, all of your living relatives have been declared ‘suppressive persons,’ so you’ll have to disconnect them or else you’re getting sent to The Hole.

I wish Acres and 2k would come back.

@Twiface
They have a VENGEANCE!

I wish the users on Ponybooru would join my World of Warcraft Cataclysm Classic guild and raid with me?

@Zaknel
Granted. They all act like Leeroy Jenkins.

I wish I could sleep for more than one hour, and for food to cost only 20% of the price it is now.

@Fleur de Lis
You can sleep all you want because you’re now unemployed and you live in Wyoming so you’re unlikely to find another job anytime soon. The state gives you a debit card with a monthly food allowance sufficient to live on (so you can pay nothing if you live modestly), but they will only pay for certain things (no restaurants, no alcohol, etc.) and you can only use it at sketchy stores with this sign in the window:

I wish I had a girlfriend.

She LOVES you. Just as much as her 8 other boyfriends.

I wish I had the ability to summon hands to drag my foes into oblivion.