Useless Facts

The Jolly Green Giant does not walk, he stands still. He walked in one commercial and it so terrified people that the company never had him walk again.

Steel beams are nigh indestructible. The only thing that can destroy them is nano-thermite, which just so happens to have the exact same chemical composition as building dust so that no one can detect its presence.

The Iron Sheik hated Jake the Snake Roberts because he stole his crack, allegedly.

Bonus fact: Hank Hill bought $600 worth of crack for $20 in the 90s.

Bonus Bonus fact: Charlie Sheen was banging 7 gram rocks and finishing them, because that’s how he rolls.

“Steamed Hams” is a phrase commonly used in Albany to describe hamburgers. No one in Utica calls hamburgers “steamed hams”. Despite the name steamed hams are often grilled.

Water is made of two gins: oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin and hydrogin is gin and water.

$1 million in cash weighs 22 lbs, $1 million in gold weighs 25 lbs

67 is a prime number

JR is a really bad guy. He lives on a ranch with his mom.

the universe expands faster than light and we will not see stars in future.

The mint julep is not a Texas drink, and it does not contain vodka and tomato juice.

McGarnagle gets called into his boss’ office to be dressed down and immediately begins eating his lunch and shuts down his boss’ complaints in a power move.

God Nisanov is the vice president of the Global Jewish Congress. He’s on a full-name basis to distinguish him from mononymous God.

Pac-Man was supposed to be “Puck-Man”, but Namco, the US distributor, feared people would vandalize the game cabinets to read “Fuck-Man” so they changed it to “Pac-Man”. LOL

Steiner’s attack was an order

Pirate freedom is the freest kind of freedom. It makes other freedom look not as free in comparison. American freedom is like prison. You’re “free” to do whatever corporations tell you to do.

Dick Van Dyke is now 100 years old. He is officially too old to play with Lego blocks, which are for ages 4 - 99.

A knit cap isn’t a disguise.
OJ Simpson has a rather large head.
OJ Simpson in a knit cap from 2 blocks away is still recognizable as OJ Simpson.

In “A Christmas Carol”, Tiny Tim has a terminal case of the crutches

Georgy Malenkov’s eyes really do follow you around the crapper

The episode ‘Surf and/or Turf’ is an allegory for divorce.
That’s why Terramar is sad.

After years of fighting bums and senior citizens Jake Paul finally fought a real boxer and got his ass handed to him. He has metal plates inserted into his jaw.

He’s the guy who famously beat up 59 year old Mike Tyson like a week after Tyson survived a heart attack and had to be rushed to the emergency room.

At the same time Andrew Tate lost in what has to be the worst boxing match of all time. Half the match was hugging.

IQ is a 100 point scale from 60 to 160.

Anything lower than 60 and a person wouldn’t be smart enough to take the test. Anything above 160 and there haven’t been enough people alive at any given time to devise methods of determining just how much smarter they are.

Emma Morano, 29 November 1899 – 15 April 2017, was the last living person born in the 1800s

Nabi Tajima, 4 August 1900 – 21 April 2018, was the last living person born in the 19th Century

China has a monopoly on magnets. No one knows what magnets are, but China has a monopoly on them, and magnets don’t work under water. If you drop a little glass of water on magnets no one knows what will happen. It might end the entire universe, no one knows, because no one knows what magnets are.