The Havoc Thread

Three ate my slippers, now the pigeons are mad at me.

@FeatherTrap  
Give them Twix and vegemite to cool their radiators.

@Acres  
Vegemite is a product of mildew collecting on the stalactites of exalted moon beavers, the set cannot be completed.

@FeatherTrap  
Did you check under trash can? There’s usually a fire blanket and middle school PE teacher there.

@Acres  
That just sounds like juggalo conventions with extra steps.

@FeatherTrap  
Sorry, I often mix up my Clorox disinfecting wipes with painting supplies.

@Acres  
Tissue dispensing isn’t a laughing matter, man. Thousands of people have their lives ruined every day by whale belching.

@FeatherTrap  
I was merely pointing out that computer screens are a poor substitute for toilet paper.

Squirrel Girl is the only thing about the picture of the clock that was in any way pleasing.

Dinosaur skiing never manages to negotiate terms with actual, real barber midgets.

 
This chair doesn’t have the same ring you gave me.

I’m gonna sign up for a time share.

@Dex Stewart  
Did you try squirting into the vent core?
 
 
@Acres  
Remember: a four-dimension clock is a subset of itself.

A German, a Jew and an Ostrich walked into a bar. The sign read
 
“No Shirt, No Shoes, NO SERVICE!”
 

@Adan Druego  
That’s why you wear pineapple echidnas to work, to scare off the Ostriches.
 
It doesn’t work on Emus though, they won the war…

I don’t know if you have any ideas,but I don’t know if I can help. I’m not sure if I can make it to the meeting tonight but I don’t know if I can help in any way I can. The first time I’ve ever been seen was just wondering how much it would cost.

@Dex Stewart  
Did you try spoon? That usually helps with multi-instance verb-intake variance.

@FeatherTrap  
forks make better cookies anyway.

@Acres  
Biscuit loafing is a capital offence

Snide is Heckyl.

@Dex Stewart  
Donkey Kong frowns on your lack of musical ability.

Through Pillsbury Dough Boy never got back!

@Acres  
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooh…that’s why the rabbits hate the tax office! :O

Pennies for your tomato stems?