When a dude marries his girlfriend the day after the honeymoon she puts on 80-100 pounds, dresses exclusively in burlap sacks, and stops bathing. The very next week after the divorce is finalized all that weight magically disappears, she’s got the full spa treatment, is wearing Gucci vacuumed on ass crack and camel toe pants, is painted up like a hooker, and she’s back on Tinder.