Movies That DON'T Suck

ANoobis
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Ghibelline Omnipotens
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My Conquest Is the Sea of Stars is both a good movie and a good intro to Legend of the Galactic Heroes.
Dex Stewart
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This is the type of movie I wish I had seen when I was little. A teenage dude,Alex, who lives out in the country loves playing this arcade game. He’s really good at it too. He’s so good, he breaks the record. A weird eccentric guy, Centauri, tells him to come with him. The car they’re in flies up to a space station where the young dude encounters a bunch of crazy aliens and learns about an intergalactic war. The arcade game was actually training, and that’s why he was selected. It’s all too much for him and he is sent back to Earth, but the big bad Xur has already found out about him. Centauri returns and saves him from an assassin, but gets wounded. Alex agrees to go back and join the fight. Centauri dies, and the space station from earlier has been destroyed. Only a few survivors remain,including Grig.  
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Grig is the best thing about this movie.  
He and Alex take off on their own to defeat Xur. They successfully defeat Xur’s forces thanks to a clever maneuver. Alex returns to Earth to invite his girlfriend along to planet Rylos.
UrbanMysticDee
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Bae > Bay
This is just a place holder until I have time to write more about it, but I just saw Nobody and holy shit was that a great movie. 2021. I thought they stopped making good movies, but that was just spot on.
UrbanMysticDee
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Bae > Bay
Saw The Batman today (technically yesterday). That was something. 95/100. Batman is an actual detective. He uses his brain to solve crimes instead of holding criminals over the edges of buildings to scare information out of them. He’s such a genius, in fact, he can decode Zodiac Killer style messages just by glancing at them, which is definitely true to the comics. He has awesome gadgets that are out there enough to be cool movie gadgets but believable enough to be believable.
 
The acting is great, the action is great, Gotham actually looks like Gotham and it is very cool, the soundtrack is awesome.
 
The Riddler probably kills more people than any other Batman villain. He definitely seems crazy or autistic or something, the way he reacts to certain situations. I’m not sure what his endgame is. It seems to escalate in the climax from “wipe out corruption” to “wipe out the whole city” and that seems to come out of nowhere.
 
And there’s a nice sequel hook near the end, or one of the ends, because, moving on to the flaws, this movie has about 20 minutes of endings. Every time it seems like it’s over it just keeps going. And after three hours I had to piss, so they could have cut some of the run time. There are a few scenes that drag on a bit too long.
 
I don’t like how Batman’s suit is totally bulletproof. Batman isn’t supposed to stroll through machine gun fire and take his time beating the shit out of criminals.
 
Also, while I like that they say “fuck” in this Batman movie, I thought having what seemed like a third of all the dialogue being cussing was overdoing it. That seems like a first draft thing that should have been fixed before the final version.
ANoobis
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Ghibelline Omnipotens
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I just got done watching Killers of Kilimanjaro. It’s nominally a film adaptation of the Tsavo Man-eaters story, but there are no Tsavo Man-eaters in the film. Instead, the plot concerns itself with a race between the Germans, with Arab slaver allies, and the English to build a railroad across Kenya. The stuff with the Arabs and Germans is pretty good, but the movie drags in the middle. It busies itself with nature photography and episodic jungle adventures for too long. Fortunately, the pace picks back up once the antagonists reappear for the finale.
Dex Stewart
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I’ve watched two movies today.  
First I watched the leaked Popeye movie animatic.
 
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It was decent. It feels exactly like what you’d expect a modernized Popeye movie done well would feel like.  
Even as an animatic, expressions and movement come across well, and if the movie were completed, I could see it doing fairly well.  
It’s nothing amazing, and has some flaws, but I’d definitely recommend it to any Popeye fans out there.
 
The other movie I watched was Prey, the new Predator flick.
 
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I don’t know why this wasn’t released in theaters. It’s pretty good, I guess they’re trying to sucker people into getting Hulu.  
It’s a unique entry for Predator, taking place in the past, 1600’s. The movie follows a native American tribe going about their lives, when things are suddenly interrupted by the arrival of a mysterious thing from the sky.  
The characters aren’t that memorable, but they’re passable. The main girl, Naru, is fine. The Predator’s face is pretty weird. He’s still recognizable, but has quite a different look from the more homogeneous appearances of his usual kind.  
Most of the movie is people getting killed off by Predator, which I guess is what fans would want. It doesn’t get too graphic, it even seems to cut away before getting too icky. It’s fine. Definitely one of the better sequels to Predator.
Anonymous #1244
Movies don’t have to be like real life. In a movie good wins over evil, right wins over wrong.
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What is the big difference between the theatrical version and extended edition, overall?
 
@Dex Stewart  
I’ve watched two movies today.
First I watched the leaked Popeye movie animatic.
full
It was decent. It feels exactly like what you’d expect a modernized Popeye movie done well would feel like.
Even as an animatic, expressions and movement come across well, and if the movie were completed, I could see it doing fairly well.
It’s nothing amazing, and has some flaws, but I’d definitely recommend it to any Popeye fans out there.
The other movie I watched was Prey, the new Predator flick.
full
I don’t know why this wasn’t released in theaters. It’s pretty good, I guess they’re trying to sucker people into getting Hulu.
It’s a unique entry for Predator, taking place in the past, 1600’s. The movie follows a native American tribe going about their lives, when things are suddenly interrupted by the arrival of a mysterious thing from the sky.
The characters aren’t that memorable, but they’re passable. The main girl, Naru, is fine. The Predator’s face is pretty weird. He’s still recognizable, but has quite a different look from the more homogeneous appearances of his usual kind.
Most of the movie is people getting killed off by Predator, which I guess is what fans would want. It doesn’t get too graphic, it even seems to cut away before getting too icky. It’s fine. Definitely one of the better sequels to Predator.
 
We should have gotten a proper Predator 3.
Fleur de Lis
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déanaim seitreach
@Anonymous #1244  
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy Theatrical version runs 9 hours and 17 minutes (557 total minutes).
 
The Extended Edition Lord of the Rings Trilogy is about 11 hours and 22 minutes (682 minutes) long. That means that Lord of the Rings Extended Edition contains a total of 2 hours and 5 minutes of extra film to the trilogy. That’s 32 excluded from theatrical version scenes and many small additions as well.
UrbanMysticDee
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Batman didn’t have to take the fall in The Dark Knight.
 
According to Gordon, Harvey Dent killed 5 people, 2 of whom were cops, and if the people of Gotham found out they would all descend into criminal madness or something. I remember he killed Wuertz, Maroni, Maroni’s chauffeur, and who else? He only punched Ramirez in the face. So who are the other 2 people Dent killed? Let’s just assume Gordon is right and there were other off-screen victims.
 
There are 3 possible solutions that don’t involve Batman taking the blame for the murders.
 
  1. Just sweep it under the rug. The Blue Wall of Silence will protect Dent’s reputation. There are no witnesses to any of these murders, and without witnesses, and without bodies, there’s no crime.
     
  2. It could have been anyone who killed them. Probably the Joker. He killed a lot of mobsters, and cops too. No need to pin the blame on Batman or Dent. Since there are no witnesses and Joker is locked in Arkham, who would dispute Gordon blaming Joker? No one.
     
  3. If you absolutely need to tell people Dent killed those people then Dent is a hero for killing all the bad people. Think about it. He killed the biggest mob king pin in the city, his henchmen, and 2 crooked cops who were moonlighting as mobsters. And since there are no witnesses you could say he shot them all in self defense. Dent later died from wounds he suffered in the shootout. Who’s going to dispute the official story? No one.
     
    The only reason Batman took the fall for Harvey was because (this is my opinion) Nolan wanted to end the series there. He didn’t want to be roped into a trilogy, which is why he waited 4 years to make the third movie and just phoned it in with the most nonsensical “plot” he could think of. Batman riding off in the sunset and retiring feels like the end of the series instead of the end of part 2 of 3.
UrbanMysticDee
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Liberty Belle - Sings the song of the unchained

Bae > Bay
Commando (1985) - Dead Tired
 
This is something I can’t stand in modern movies.
 
In the 80s and 90s action stars would crack a joke that fit seamlessly with the flow of the story, but it was unquestionably obvious that this was an action movie and it was serious drama. If there was a character who cracked jokes more frequently there was one person who was a comic relief sidekick. The scene above is a perfect example. It works. John Matrix is a badass action hero who made a joke in a moment of downtime in the film so the audience could catch their breath between action set pieces. It doesn’t distract from anything. It doesn’t make him any less of a badass, it doesn’t make the movie any less action packed, it doesn’t make the drama less dramatic.
 
In modern movies EVERYONE is making jokes CONSTANTLY. Nothing is serious anymore. No matter how serious the scene, no matter how serious the movie or the situation, everything is a fucking joke. The movie is trying to make the audience feel something but everyone is joking all the time so it ruins it.
 
It’s only gotten worse. Now not only is every character telling jokes, EVERY. THING. that happens IS a joke. Look at the latest Thor movie. Everything that happens is a joke designed to shit on Thor. Marvel spent a decade building up this character and now just tore him a new one, making an entire movie turning him into an unfunny joke. They did the same with Hulk, Loki, everyone. Everyone is a joke now.
 
Movies today shit on the audience. “Oh, you’ve spent hundreds of dollars watching our movies all these years? Fuck you.”
 
Like that episode of MLP where they turned bronies into neckbeard losers for not mindlessly giggling and clapping at all the shit and plotholes and reused story lines. “Oh, you’ve spent thousands, tens of thousands of dollars over a decade turning our show into a world-wide phenomenon? Fuck you fat baldcel loser. We don’t want you as the audience. Eat shit and die, motherfucker.”
UrbanMysticDee
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Liberty Belle - Sings the song of the unchained

Bae > Bay
The Blob (1958) full movie on youtube.
 
This was allegedly inspired by a true story:
 
Police officers John Collins and Joe Keenan were cruising the streets of Philadelphia in their patrol car on the night of September 26, 1950. As they made their way down a quiet side street near Vare Avenue and 26th Street, their headlights picked up a strange shimmering object that seemed to be coming to Earth in an open field about half a block in head of them. When they went to investigate, thei flashlights revealed a domed disk of quivering jelly, 6 feet in diameter, one foot thick at the center and an inch or two near the edge. They had a curious feeling that the thing was alive! They turned off their flashlights and saw the thing glowed with a dull purple color. And then they radioed for help.
 
They were soon joined by Sgt. Joe Cook and patrolman James Cooper. Sergeant Cook suggested they try and pick the thing up, but when Officer Collins attempted to do so the thing fell apart in his hands, like gelatin. The fragments that stuck to his hands soon evaporated, leaving behind only a sticky, odorless scum. Within a half hour of Cooper and Cook arriving the entire mass had evaporated.
 
“Frank Edwards: Strange World, page 344”
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UrbanMysticDee
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Liberty Belle - Sings the song of the unchained

Bae > Bay
Even at 240p the original Matrix looks good stretched to full screen. It’s amazing people could compress movies back then to fit on a single CD and not have them look like total crap.
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Dex Stewart
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Ecto-Phase,Activate!
We’re Off to see the Munchkins is a documentary that brings together a few surviving Munchkin actors to reminisce on the making of The Wizard of Oz.
There’s alot of cool anecdotes, and insight into how movies were made in the forties.
There’s a bit of footage from public appearances, which is my favorite part.
Definitely worth a watch if you’re an Oz fan, or like to hear old stories about classic Hollywood.
UrbanMysticDee
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Liberty Belle - Sings the song of the unchained

Bae > Bay
This isn’t my idea but I’m improving on it. In the Dark Knight movies the League of Shadows MO makes absolutely no sense.

They believe in fighting crime and injustice and believe they’re bringing balance to the world, but their plan is sit around doing nothing until major cities become too corrupt and unlivable and then destroying them completely, including killing all the inhabitants.

That was the original idea I just came across on the Internet.com, but I’ve realized it’s actually much worse. They’re not sitting around waiting for cities to fall into corruption and crime, they’re actively making them worse.

They created a major depression in Gotham, turning people into criminals. The Waynes funded public works projects to help people out of poverty until Thomas and Martha were murdered by one of the criminals the League created through their artificial depression.

The League then spent the next 20 years working on the plan of “infiltrating every level of government” and corrupting it completely. They had Crane “weaponize” the hallucinogenic flower and dump it in the water supply, and pay Falcone and his entire crime syndicate. The Waynes were trying to fix the problems of crime and corruption in Gotham and the Leauge had them murdered so they could make things worse. When Batman came along to try to fix the problem they tried to kill him too, believing “Gotham is too far gone.”

But Gotham is only full of crime and corruption because the League created it.

The League of Shadows creates problems so they have something to solve. They’re like firefighters setting buildings on fire deliberately so they have a fire to put out. They control the government and organized crime in Gotham completely. They could have easily fixed the city at any point in the past 20 years and they decided to make it worse instead just so they have a city to destroy.

The entire plan makes no sense.
UrbanMysticDee
Chatty Kirin - A user who has reached a combined 1000 forum posts or comments.
Liberty Belle - Sings the song of the unchained

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I saw a picture show today called House of D (2004). It was a huge bomb but that’s because people are retarded. It’s David Duchovny’s directorial debut. He was in X-Files, which was great by the way (at least the early seasons, I stopped watching). Duchovny stars as a guy living as an artist in Paris. He’s married to Téa Leoni, they have a son, Frank Langella stars as a priest, Robin Williams is a janitor, that guy from Star Trek Into Darkness is in the movie back when he was a teenager, apparently. I saw the name and thought “Hey, I reviewed a movie with that guy, let me watch this one too,” and I wasn’t disappointed. He was killed by his own hoopty, it’s tragic really.
Tommy Warshaw is a troubled kid from a broken family. His father is dead (I missed the beginning) and his mother ODs and ends up in a coma and Tommy is taking advice from some woman in prison. They talk through the windows. That’s the House of D in the title, the New York Women’s House of Detention. It was torn down. That’s a plot point in the end of the movie. Spoilers for a 20 year old movie.
Tommy steals money from a woman with dementia or something and runs away to Paris and becomes a successful artist and now his wife makes him go back to New York to face his past, which he does. His wife and son go back to New York with him and they meet the prisoner and the janitor and it’s happy. The ending is happy. That’s all I want. I watch movies to be entertained. Girl on the Train I saw that. It won 400 awards or something, but it was the most boring fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Then there’s Navy SEALs vs. Zombies which was made on a shoe string budget, the plot doesn’t make any sense, but it’s fun. There’s not a dull moment in the whole movie. I don’t care that House of D is “full of every movie cliche”. I don’t care. It entertained me, and in the end that’s all I’m looking for.
B+
ANoobis
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Ghibelline Omnipotens
I just saw Godzilla Minus One. It’s hard to believe that a movie that looks and sounds as good as this had a budget of just $15 million. The human drama didn’t get in the way of the monster action like it does in the Legendary movies. Even if Godzilla had only shown up on the island the first time, the rest of the film would have been an engaging character piece.
ANoobis
A toast - Incredibly based
Fried Chicken - Attended an april fools event
Book Horse - A user who has contributed to 5k+ metadata changes.
Chatty Kirin - A user who has reached a combined 1000 forum posts or comments.
Liberty Belle - Sings the song of the unchained

Ghibelline Omnipotens
The Boy and The Heron is a nice return to form for Studio Ghibli. It’s good to have Miyazaki back. Their previous movie by Goro, Earwig and the Witch, was only ok.
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