Fanfiction Feedback! Super Smexy Version

Here is a place to get feedback on your ideas, drafts, etc of sexy, sexy fics. Fetishes included.

I wrote a Yuri fic about Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara once. Looking back,I don’t think it’s very good. I still like the concept.

I wrote A vore fic: Quick Coup (password is His)  
Tell me what you think.

@Havoc  
Your link 404’s for me.

@acres  
So it is. Let me fix that.

@Havoc  
So it turns out I have no idea how previewing stories on fimfiction works. Send halp!

@Havoc  
Did you ever figure out the fimfiction link?

@acres  
Not yet. I’ll have to do it later.

I’ve been fiddling around with an ai system that writes fanfics for you. One turned out very strange, Rarity and Pinkie became futas.

@Dex Stewart  
That sounds like tons of fun!

@Havoc  
I made a separate thread for it.  
I tried doing a Trump/Obama yaoi but I guess even the ai didn’t like that idea.

@Dex Stewart  
Why did you make it in general? Stories are an art form.

@Havoc  
I wasn’t sure, DB has a separate section for fanfiction,but since I wasn’t writing it myself I wasn’t really sure where it should go.

@acres  
Do you have a fimfiction account? That might be the issue.

No, but I’ve read plenty of fimfics without one.

@acres  
Ah ok. You can only look at unpublished ones with an account.

Flash fiction time. I don’t know where else to put this.
 
===
 
Dear Princess Celestia,
 
Pinkie Pie has been my friend for many moons; but three days ago, the two of us began a dangerous relationship. Pinkie and I ended up getting into the act of having pony sex while in the bathtub. In fact, I ended up having an accident, in which I was hit with a baseball bat. That night, I had an even more dangerous relationship with Pinkie, who was actually a very good baseball player.
 
Your faithful student: Twilight Sparkle

Dear Princess Celestia.
 
Today, Rarity introduced me to the strangest thing. Apparently, some ponies enjoy wearing a material known as latex… it really looks like shiny metal.  
Rarity told me that she’d teach me more once I’m ready. Oh, mare, I just love learning about new and unique topics. So, as a bit of homework, Rarity told me to come up with something known as a “safe word”.
 
Just between you and me, and Rarity obviously, I think I’m going with “quesadilla”.
 
Well, once again, thank you for forcing me to make friends, I can’t even imagine a life without my best friends now.
 
Your most faithful student,  
Twilight Sparkle

@Adan Druego  
I have a LaTeX fetish (note the capitalization: it’s important)

@πʊßƛįϰ  
That typesetting… so hot.

I have an persistent problem. When I write stories (which I won’t link for reasons), I have difficulty settling on which fetishes I include. I may think one makes sense in the story or I just like it there, but I know it will offend/disgust a reasonable number of readers. Old artistic integrity vs. market appeal, I reckon.